The Terrace

Shane Mumford has all the traits of a ruckman: his first name is Shane, he has an awkward sounding surname, he’s a qualified boiler maker and he’s from a town called Bunyip. Fine credentials indeed. Shane is also a fine footballer who has a great story behind his hulking frame. Watching ‘Mumfy’ make the transformation from bush footy to the premier league has been a delight for all concerned; apart from Blakey, who is now nervously watching his back.

Many of you would have read an article in the Hun recently (written by fellow cats fan Scott Gullan) which described Mummy’s transformation. Some of the quotable quotes include:

• “We would have a barbecue at the footy club and he would have 12 or 16 sausages,” the Bunyip Football Club president recalled this week. “He was a mammoth eater. A seriously big rig and, put it this way, you didn’t want him falling on you.”
• “I was that big and unfortunately I’ve still got the excess skin to show for it.”
• “Even though I was almost 130kg I was happy with my lifestyle. I was happy to go out on weekends, have some fun with my mates and have a few drinks.”
• From the moment the 2007 season finished, Mumford didn’t touch alcohol or junk food and, for the first time, started eating vegetables - cooked ones that is, as he still can’t bring himself to have salad.

Anyway, read the article for yourself. It’s a great story.

What do you think of the Mumf? Let us know…

Your sincerely,

The Terrace

There is nothing quite like the all-consuming frustration of hearing roars outside a ground as the siren sounds when you are late for a game. It’s up there with bad umpiring, spilling sauce down your front, Michael Christian’s commentary and Geelong not getting the Guggenheim. The roar at the start was nothing, however, compared with the sigh of relief as the final siren sounded and Brad Johnson made a pickle of his banana.

In the closing stages of Friday night here at The Terrace we had mentally accepted the loss as “something we needed” to exorcise the possibility of a complete tragedy in September (something very real that continues to lurk in the darkest corners of our minds). In our eyes it was the “loss” we had to have and we’re sticking with that. We’ll take “the win, yet lose” approach, as it serves a higher purpose for now…

Each quarter in four words or less:

1st: We doubled their score
2nd: Gary hasn’t lost it
3rd: The result seems assured
4th: Where’s the smile now, Johnno?

Postscript
Interestingly, as a matter of a useless fact, The Terrace can reveal the following exclusive insight: Geelong and the Doggies kicked quarter-by-quarter goals in the reverse order. Geelong: 6-3-5-3 vs Bulldogs: 3-5-3-6.  How intriguing!

Further, The Terrace believes the last time anyone had a final-moment chance in a Geelong vs Doggies game was way back in the 1994 quarter final when Billy Brownless slammed one home to put the Cats in front by 5 points and through to the semi final. Big Billy went troppo until John Barnes kissed him and Blighty ran onto the ground to take a speccy over the players huddle. All to the sound of Sandy Roberts calling “Billy, you are king of Geelong! Oh, the monkey’s off the back now, Billy!” Gazza famously did the same against North Melbourne two weeks later in the preliminary final before Geelong…you guessed it…went on to lose the flag.

Billy, the monkey's off the back!

For those interested in useless stats (yes that includes you), check out this page to learn about after the siren kicks that have decided games in Australian rules football. It even, God help us, refers to missed opportunities, including Robert Scott’s missed shot again the Swans way back in 1988 (i think i cried that day). It’s nice to see they’ve already droped Bradley’s miss in as well, just for posterity’s sake…

Your friends,

The Terrace

Punter 1 behind the goals on The Terrace at KP (in reference to the umpires’ yellow strips): “Anyone who’s wearing yellow is a poofter!”

Collective punters on The Terrace: “Boo haa haa haa haa”

Yellow undies: not to be confused with an AFL umpire.

For those that took the trip to the cattery on Saturday, it really was a game of two halves. The first, a demolition that had us frothing at the mouth and licking our lips for more…well, froth. The second, a relatively tedious display of football where the Roos tried harder, supporters started to feel the chill and the Cats ultimately prevailed.

Each quarter in four words or less:

Q1: Travis Varcoe - on fire!

Q2: The floodgates have opened!

Q3: North are trying harder

Q4: I’m getting cold now

It really wasn’t a game to remember; however, I’m now beginning to question if we’re getting complacent with victories in the vicinity of 10 goals? I wouldn’t say no to one next week against the Doggies…

Your home away from home,

The Terrace

This week in the Rangtheon we salute Neville ‘Brunsy’ Bruns, one of the great red heads of the GFC, let alone the game. Recruited from Leitchville (if you’re wondering it’s 263kms north west of Melbourne), nifty Neville (77kg 176cm) wore the number 19 with pride whilst playing on the wing and as rover between 1978-92. In total, Brunsy played 223 games (including the 1989 and 1992 Grand Finals) and kicked 174 goals.

Something obviously went wrong in the Leitchville hair salon...

Apart from managing a great Sports Co. sports store in Geelong, Brunsy will largely be remembered by many as the man that received the infamous ‘lethal jab’. As is well documented, Brunsy had his jaw broken in two places and Steve Hocking duly broke Lethal’s nose moments after.

Here’s what Lethal had to say about the moment… “I can visualise the five seconds because this particular opponent had been sniping a few of our blokes early in the game. It was an ugly game and when the game turned ugly, I turned the ugliest. He kind of walked past and I walked up belted him one and I thought ‘Oh s—, what did I do that for?’. And then I thought ‘they’ll be coming’ and they were coming. Because then I lost consciousness because my nose got smashed across my face and so then I was out of the game, too.”

Stop blushing, Neville...

Nice goatee, Neville. Always a step ahead of the pack...

What sort of manoeuvre is that, Neville?

Anyway, despite the jab, here at The Terrace we’ll always picture Brunsy with a well-groomed fiery mullet, ball in hand, heading toward goal at great pace.

Thank you, Neville. The Terrace salutes you!

Recent news surrounding the poor stadium deals clubs receive remind us of how lucky we are to be the only Victorian club to enjoy a true home ground advantage. From a supporter’s point of view, this is a boon: whether it’s a patch of concrete on the terrace, a blue (or white) plastic seat in the Brownlow, a wooden set of slats in the Doug Wade (with a pylon obstructing your view),  a glass-enclosed view from the Popescu Room (aka ‘The fish tank’), the local and variable points of view of KP define who we are and how we see the game - or not if you happen to sit in the new Hickey stand during sunset.

In the mid 80’s I recall sneaking through a fence at the bottom of the Old Jack Jenning’s stand. Geelong was playing Richmond and Gaz was, as was his way with the Tigers, on fire. I pushed my way through the long coats to secure a great view in the ‘Jenning’s pocket’, just to watch the fast-twitch fibres of the great man carry him on an express lead toward me. As the ball arrived Gaz launched himself in the air and, instead of using two hands, he threw just one out. We watched the ball hit his fingertips and roll down his arm to his chest. The crowd erupted, in the manner that you’d expect when Gary performed that sort of act. In that split second I looked back and saw one old Jenning’s gentleman grab his mate by the head and kiss him on the cheek. I’ll never forget it!

As a precursor to this weekends game against the ‘roos at KP, check out the way the ground used to be…there seemed to be a lot of hill and plenty of squinting amongst spectators on the eastern wing. Some things never change…

Can you remember where you have stood (or sat) watching the great games that now make up your memory and infuse your stories? If so, let us know… Whichever view you have enjoyed watching the blue and white hoops will no doubt influence and reflect what you hold dearly. Wherever it may be and whoever it may be with, we salute you!

As an aside, now that the past-players’ stand has been swept away with tide of development, can we rightly call it the past-past-players’ stand?

Kindest Regards,

Your sentimental friends at The Terrace

Hopefully by now you’ve enjoyed the joys of Monday night football. Here at The Terrace the concept of football on Monday has excited us about as much as sharing a nude spa and glass of bubbly with Wayne Swan. Then again, i guess Collingwood getting flogged every Monday wouldn’t be a bad way to start the week…at least better than a nude spa with Wayne.

Anyway, on a thoroughly more positive note, last Saturday (a good day for football ladies and gentlemen) The Terrace was back where it belongs, home sweet home in The Gary Ablett Terrace (aka ‘The Vegie Patch’). No place on earth really compares to The Cattery when the sun is shining, a cool southerly breeze is blowing (which generally equates to more Vegie-Patch goals) and the GFC is on a roll. Saturday met all three of these criteria: it really was veritable football bliss.

Premiership years run deep on The Terrace.

As if to reaffirm the above in my mind one local punter was heard quizzing his sleeveless GFC-hoodied mate: “what are you doin’ here, don’t you ‘ave a seat down the other end?” At which point the sleeveless-hodied mate’s other mate replied on his behalf (for the record no sleeveless hoody on him, just a catters’ jumper with the number ‘07′ emblazoned on the back), “yeah, but he’d rather stand down here”. Respect!

Speaking of quotable quotes, unsuprisingly there was no lack of banter on The Terrace late Saturday afternoon. Here’s the standout (sung to the tune of something, although were not exactly sure what):

Oooohhhhh, Barry Hall, Oooooohhhhh, Barry Hall, with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile, you’re a paedophile…

I suspect they roll this one out for every visiting full-forward - it would sound good with Matthew Lloyd too, don’t you think?  - but it had a particularly nice ring to it on Saturday. Deservedly most of the stick handed out from The Terrace was delivered in the direction of BBBH (Big Bad Barry Hall - we stole that from this article about his demise). He really has lost the plot.

Anyway, as tradition now has it, each quarter in four words or less:

1. 5 points one goal
2. Mumford’s showing some class
3. ‘07 Stokesy has returned!
4. Votes: Corey, Selwood, S. Johnson

As the cats kick another...The Vegie Patch erupts and bangs the crap out of the Target ad.

Until next time…

Your loyal companions,

The Terrace

Geelong (Blakey and Gaz in particular) allegedly created a world record on Sunday by kicking the quickest goal ever in a game of AFL football. It probably doesn’t mean it was a world record (we’re sure some squid playing up bush has dobbed one quicker), but here at The Terrace we’ll take it none-the-less. For the…ummm…record, the goal was kicked in under 9 seconds. We’re not sure if it is indeed a record for a VFL/AFL game. Does anyone know? I seem to recall Gary Senior kicked a quick one at the start of the ‘89 GF, but i don’t think it was that quick. As an aside, our archivist has spent the last four nights fumbling through the office records to reveal a dozen Geelong significant records, including:

1. Highest number of possessions in a game (498 vs Brisbane, 2009)
2. Greatest ever winning grand-final margin (Geelong 24.19.163 vs Port Adelaide 6.8.44, 2007)
3. Only team to have nine players selected in an All-Australian team (2007)
4. The highest ever aggregate total for points scored in a season (3,334, 1992)
5. Highest ever score (Geelong 37.17.239 vs Brisbane Bears 11.9.75, 1992)
6. Ahhhh…highest number of losing grand finals in the ’90s (3 - ouch!)
7. The only player to have been awarded the Coleman medal three years in a row (guess who in 1993-94-95).
8. The only Victorian club to temporarily change their song from a traditional baritone/brass-band-backed classic to a post-modern cock-rock anthem (Cat Attack, 1991-92)
9. The only club to win three games in a row by more than 100 points (1989)
10. The record for the most goals kicked in a VFL/AFL Grand Final (guess who with 9 goals in 1989).
11. Record for the longest winning streak in AFL/VFL history (23 games, 1952-53 - soon to be smashed perhaps?).
12. Keeping a club to the lowest ever score (Geelong 23.24.162 vs St Kilda 0.1.1 in 1899)

Further suggestions to boost The Terrace’s archive would be more than welcome…

Anyway, enough said. Enjoy the goal!

One bounce, one tap, one gather, one goal = 8 seconds. Activate operation percentage booster!

Unfortunately, unlike the 2007 DVD 4 pack, this experience rarely excited as much as hoped or expected. The number of tweed jackets clearly outnumbered the few moments of brilliance including Gazza’s opener, Wojo’s acceleration and Chappy’s ubiquity. Melbourne did well to be competitive throughout, but - fortunately for one punter who put $100k on the cats for a $4k return - the result was never in doubt.

Tweed jackets and bad ties were the plat du jour.

Each quarter in four words or less:

1st: Gazza goal, Wojo run!
2nd: Stevie J has awoken.
3rd: I’m in the bar.
4th: Does Byrnes cut it?

Anyway, at the end of the day Shane’s portrait proved to be more entertaining than the match itself. Was his hair really that woeful - pun most definitely intended - or is this photo just a bad sepia dream?

Mmmmm....bleach.

May your Monday be better than the game (and Shane’s hair).

Your good friends, The Terrace…

“I don’t care if ya 13 years old and pregnant, if ya change teams I’ll kick ya outta the house…” Young lass, local establishment, Western Suburbs.

Well, those were the words of one fine young lass at the local last Saturday night, sharing her father’s stern words of warning regarding the prospect of club-support infidelity under his roof. Nothing to do with Geelong, Friday or YouTube really, but The Terrace thinks you’ll agree it was worth sharing nonetheless…

Anyway, Friday afternoon’s neither a time for reading verbose blogs nor doing work ; it’s clearly a day for watching classic footy moments on YouTube. So, as an inaugural YouTube Friday post and a pre-cursor to Sunday’s apparent mismatch (there are good odds on the Demons apparently), we thought we it’s only fair to share some footage of one of Geelong and Melbourne’s finest: Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson. Enjoy!

By the way, if you happened to miss Junior’s goal from the Hickey pocket last week (ummm… i mean Wade pocket, but it just doesn’t sound as sweet, does it?) , then fret no more…here it is!