Here at The Terrace, we’re not in the habit of belittling Geelong supporters. After all, Cats supporters make love, not war – especially on grand-final-eve eve. But this one is too good to not share. We’ve watched ‘Ablett: One special season‘ one too many times. About 157 times too many. So we’d like to share with you one of the more humorous momentsfor us – but not for a fellow supporter’s coccyx. It’s taken hours of research to uncover this piece, so please enjoy the fruits of our hard labour. And don’t tell us it hasn’t happened to you!
On another more fluid note, those looking for a post-game venue on Saturday evening, head down to The Gertrude Hotel, 148 Gertrude St, Fitzroy (Cnr Gertrude & Napier Street) from 5.30pm. It’s a short walk from the ‘G, and The Terrace will be there, for better or for worse, with an army of cats fans ready to dribble the night away! We’re getting nervous…
We could spend our Tuesday talking about Collingwood, and the the drivel their players have been drooling for the past day or so, and the fact that Dane Swan is a first-class bogan, that a high percentage of their team share less-than-below-average excuses for christian names (think dane, dayne, tarkyn, sharrod, jarryd, jarrad, steele) and that they have one player with the surname ‘dick’. But, here at The Terrace we are more mature than that.
In a week of lid keeping on-ering, it’s hard not to inhale a little deeper, pump the chest out a little further, cock and nod the head to the side when reading about Gazza and Joel. Even during a week off the field they are front and square. In many ways it’s affirming that amongst their peers they are also adored. We mortals ‘feel’ every bump, barb and tackle evaded or inflicted by these two wunderkinds but the judges of the AFLPA ‘know.’ It’s nice to know that our feelings have merit.
Yo.
At the Terrace we don’t generally embrace American terms creeping into the Australian lexicon. Commentators who use words such as ‘defense’ and ‘quarterback’ should give themselves an uppercut. Normally terms such as MVP and MCP would make us A-N-G-R-Y but on this occasion we can’t help but feel proud. Even though Holty did promise to go all the way with LBJ, let’s just hope that Premiership rings never creep into our mighty National game!
Only the ABC would use the word ‘pleasant’ in the name of a footy show. God bless the days of ABC football coverage, not to mention Tim Lane’s moustache. Look out for the great man at the Western Oval in his only best-and-fairest season – 1984.
This photo is most definitely worthy of a Friday. We just love the strategic placement of Gary’s Adidas trainers in the foreground. Apparently, after banging home a bag of sausage rolls at KP, there was nothing Gaz enjoyed more than heading home to play the Sax on the floral couch – in his socks.
Nice trainers, Gary.
This weekend is the big 150 celebration. Happy 150th Geelong! It would be nice if, as a prelude to the big game, Gary plays a rendition of the club song on his sax (with Dennis Walter and Daryl Somers on vocals). Well, we think it’s unlikely, but here at The Terrace we can only hope.
Here at The Terrace we’re unadulterated fans of players who share surnames with nouns. We’ve already enjoyed the fun and frivolity of debating whether David Mensch was indeed a mensch at heart. Now get this: the word Malarkey in the Compact Oxford English Dictionary is simply defined as “Nonsense”. Others describe it as “empty rhetoric or exaggerated talk.” This time there is no debate. Clearly the etymology of this word has no association with the tight-lipped, barrel-chested, no-nonsense former Geelong full back…one Gary Malarkey.
Malarkey, not looking very lark like...
Gary was yet another fine Geelong player who happened to be called Gary and wear the famous number 5. He was known for many things: he had a solid frame, a reliable fist and a Blightesque (or perhaps more appropriately Grahamesque) ability to use the torpedo to great effect. We question if he was ever called ‘the lark’, which would have been a humorous play on words given his stern disposition and ‘one percenter’ style of play. We think not, but will run with it nonetheless.
Hailing from East Perth (we could try a segue into this weekend’s game against the Weagles but will resist), ‘the lark’ had the capacity to beat bigger and faster players with his ability to read the game and extraordinary strength. He played 173 games, was an All Australian in 1979, represented Victoria and WA and was the premier full back of the VFL in the late 70’s and early 80’s.
'The lark' had a big barrel chest with a big barrel kick to match...
‘Lark’, wherever you may be, we at The Terrace salute you and your streeeeength!
‘Ave a good weekend, and here’s to another Subiaco flogging!
There is nothing quite like the all-consuming frustration of hearing roars outside a ground as the siren sounds when you are late for a game. It’s up there with bad umpiring, spilling sauce down your front, Michael Christian’s commentary and Geelong not getting the Guggenheim. The roar at the start was nothing, however, compared with the sigh of relief as the final siren sounded and Brad Johnson made a pickle of his banana.
In the closing stages of Friday night here at The Terrace we had mentally accepted the loss as “something we needed” to exorcise the possibility of a complete tragedy in September (something very real that continues to lurk in the darkest corners of our minds). In our eyes it was the “loss” we had to have and we’re sticking with that. We’ll take “the win, yet lose” approach, as it serves a higher purpose for now…
Each quarter in four words or less:
1st: We doubled their score
2nd: Gary hasn’t lost it
3rd: The result seems assured
4th: Where’s the smile now, Johnno?
Postscript
Interestingly, as a matter of a useless fact, The Terrace can reveal the following exclusive insight: Geelong and the Doggies kicked quarter-by-quarter goals in the reverse order. Geelong: 6-3-5-3 vs Bulldogs: 3-5-3-6. How intriguing!
Further, The Terrace believes the last time anyone had a final-moment chance in a Geelong vs Doggies game was way back in the 1994 quarter final when Billy Brownless slammed one home to put the Cats in front by 5 points and through to the semi final. Big Billy went troppo until John Barnes kissed him and Blighty ran onto the ground to take a speccy over the players huddle. All to the sound of Sandy Roberts calling “Billy, you are king of Geelong! Oh, the monkey’s off the back now, Billy!” Gazza famously did the same against North Melbourne two weeks later in the preliminary final before Geelong…you guessed it…went on to lose the flag.
Billy, the monkey's off the back!
For those interested in useless stats (yes that includes you), check out this page to learn about after the siren kicks that have decided games in Australian rules football. It even, God help us, refers to missed opportunities, including Robert Scott’s missed shot again the Swans way back in 1988 (i think i cried that day). It’s nice to see they’ve already droped Bradley’s miss in as well, just for posterity’s sake…
Recent news surrounding the poor stadium deals clubs receive remind us of how lucky we are to be the only Victorian club to enjoy a true home ground advantage. From a supporter’s point of view, this is a boon: whether it’s a patch of concrete on the terrace, a blue (or white) plastic seat in the Brownlow, a wooden set of slats in the Doug Wade (with a pylon obstructing your view), a glass-enclosed view from the Popescu Room (aka ‘The fish tank’), the local and variable points of view of KP define who we are and how we see the game – or not if you happen to sit in the new Hickey stand during sunset.
In the mid 80′s I recall sneaking through a fence at the bottom of the Old Jack Jenning’s stand. Geelong was playing Richmond and Gaz was, as was his way with the Tigers, on fire. I pushed my way through the long coats to secure a great view in the ‘Jenning’s pocket’, just to watch the fast-twitch fibres of the great man carry him on an express lead toward me. As the ball arrived Gaz launched himself in the air and, instead of using two hands, he threw just one out. We watched the ball hit his fingertips and roll down his arm to his chest. The crowd erupted, in the manner that you’d expect when Gary performed that sort of act. In that split second I looked back and saw one old Jenning’s gentleman grab his mate by the head and kiss him on the cheek. I’ll never forget it!
As a precursor to this weekends game against the ‘roos at KP, check out the way the ground used to be…there seemed to be a lot of hill and plenty of squinting amongst spectators on the eastern wing. Some things never change…
Can you remember where you have stood (or sat) watching the great games that now make up your memory and infuse your stories? If so, let us know… Whichever view you have enjoyed watching the blue and white hoops will no doubt influence and reflect what you hold dearly. Wherever it may be and whoever it may be with, we salute you!
As an aside, now that the past-players’ stand has been swept away with tide of development, can we rightly call it the past-past-players’ stand?
Geelong (Blakey and Gaz in particular) allegedly created a world record on Sunday by kicking the quickest goal ever in a game of AFL football. It probably doesn’t mean it was a world record (we’re sure some squid playing up bush has dobbed one quicker), but here at The Terrace we’ll take it none-the-less. For the…ummm…record, the goal was kicked in under 9 seconds. We’re not sure if it is indeed a record for a VFL/AFL game. Does anyone know? I seem to recall Gary Senior kicked a quick one at the start of the ’89 GF, but i don’t think it was that quick. As an aside, our archivist has spent the last four nights fumbling through the office records to reveal a dozen Geelong significant records, including:
Highest number of possessions in a game (498 vs Brisbane, 2009)
Greatest ever winning grand-final margin (Geelong 24.19.163 vs Port Adelaide 6.8.44, 2007)
Only team to have nine players selected in an All-Australian team (2007)
The highest ever aggregate total for points scored in a season (3,334, 1992)
Highest ever score (Geelong 37.17.239 vs Brisbane Bears 11.9.75, 1992)
Ahhhh…highest number of losing grand finals in the ’90s (3 – ouch!)
The only player to have been awarded the Coleman medal three years in a row (guess who in 1993-94-95).
The only Victorian club to temporarily change their song from a traditional baritone/brass-band-backed classic to a post-modern cock-rock anthem (Cat Attack, 1991-92)
The only club to win three games in a row by more than 100 points (1989)
The record for the most goals kicked in a VFL/AFL Grand Final (guess who with 9 goals in 1989).
Record for the longest winning streak in AFL/VFL history (23 games, 1952-53 – soon to be smashed perhaps?).
Keeping a club to the lowest ever score (Geelong 23.24.162 vs St Kilda 0.1.1 in 1899)
Further suggestions to boost The Terrace’s archive would be more than welcome…
Welcome to ‘The Terrace’, a digital ode to all things GFC (insert financial crisis pun here) including but not limited to: Bruce ‘the president’ Lindner screamers; Hickey stand (new, not old) squinters; standing room munters; the incomparable pain of 5 modern-era GF losses (and the pant-wetting glory of one glorious modern-era victory); the highly misguided early 90′s ‘cat attack’ theme song (yes, the marketing genius behind that song will die a slow and painful death one day); the Malakellis brothers…and, of course, one G. Ablett. And that, gentlemen and ladies, is just the beginning. Join us for a year of that will either present more glory…or pain. Or something in between the two, whatever they call that…
And like all good Geelong things (that often end in bitter disappointment), let’s start this with a BANG!
