The Terrace

“…he admitted to the public that he was an alcoholic and, after seeking treatment, found a more sensitive side to his character emerging, which included a return to education and an attempt to learn the piano.” Wikipedia entry for Tony Adams, Redeemed English Premier League Legend

It’s fair to say Stokesy and the club have been under seige – insert Steven Segal humour here – over the last few weeks, in many cases unfairly. To be honest, the only path from here to a…errr…reputable reputation is one of true redemption. Here at The Terrace we’ve no doubt Stokesy is already on this high and mighty journey; however, it’s  interesting to look into our archives for some of the more successful – and indeed not so successful – lessons from sporting life. Let’s compare some of the redeemed, not so reedemed, and others who are on the journey to redemption.

Redeemed

Stevie J – Drunk in Wang, 5 weeks off, just call him Normie.
Shane Warne – Affairs, bookmakers, fluid-reducing tablet, 708 test wickets.
Tony Lockett – St Kilda, dishlickers, Peter Caven, Sydney, 1360 goals.
Tony Adams – Arsenal, alcohol, English Premier League Hall of Fame.
Jennifer Capriati – Shoplifting, marijuana, world number 1.
Lester Ellis – World boxing champion, assault and affray, sober.

Not so redeemed

Paul Gascoigne – The other ‘Gazza’, alcohol, dodgy marriage, unfulfilled potential.
Gary Ablett Snr – Needs no explanation.
Hansie Cronje – South African captain, bribes, plane crash.
Diego Maradona – Legend, hand of god, cocaine, Cuba, not a great coach.
Floyd Landis – Tour de France, drugs, sound familiar?
Tonya Harding – Ice skating, baseball bat, Nancy Kerrigan.
Ben Johnson – 1988, 9.79 seconds, steroids.

In the queue for redemption…

Tiger Woods – Golf, $$$, Sex, what next?
Barry Hall – St Kilda, Sydney, Brent Staker (and others), Doggies.
Ben Cousins – West Coast, Such is life, Richmond.

And the list goes on…we’d be interested to hear of more from punters on The Terrace…who are the most redeemed (and not redeemed) sportsmen and women?

Yours redeemingly,

The Terrace

Hopefully by now you’ve enjoyed the joys of Monday night football. Here at The Terrace the concept of football on Monday has excited us about as much as sharing a nude spa and glass of bubbly with Wayne Swan. Then again, i guess Collingwood getting flogged every Monday wouldn’t be a bad way to start the week…at least better than a nude spa with Wayne.

Anyway, on a thoroughly more positive note, last Saturday (a good day for football ladies and gentlemen) The Terrace was back where it belongs, home sweet home in The Gary Ablett Terrace (aka ‘The Vegie Patch’). No place on earth really compares to The Cattery when the sun is shining, a cool southerly breeze is blowing (which generally equates to more Vegie-Patch goals) and the GFC is on a roll. Saturday met all three of these criteria: it really was veritable football bliss.

Premiership years run deep on The Terrace.

As if to reaffirm the above in my mind one local punter was heard quizzing his sleeveless GFC-hoodied mate: “what are you doin’ here, don’t you ‘ave a seat down the other end?” At which point the sleeveless-hodied mate’s other mate replied on his behalf (for the record no sleeveless hoody on him, just a catters’ jumper with the number ’07′ emblazoned on the back), “yeah, but he’d rather stand down here”. Respect!

Speaking of quotable quotes, unsuprisingly there was no lack of banter on The Terrace late Saturday afternoon. Here’s the standout (sung to the tune of something, although were not exactly sure what):

Oooohhhhh, Barry Hall, Oooooohhhhh, Barry Hall, with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile, you’re a paedophile…

I suspect they roll this one out for every visiting full-forward – it would sound good with Matthew Lloyd too, don’t you think?  – but it had a particularly nice ring to it on Saturday. Deservedly most of the stick handed out from The Terrace was delivered in the direction of BBBH (Big Bad Barry Hall – we stole that from this article about his demise). He really has lost the plot.

Anyway, as tradition now has it, each quarter in four words or less:

1. 5 points one goal
2. Mumford’s showing some class
3. ’07 Stokesy has returned!
4. Votes: Corey, Selwood, S. Johnson

As the cats kick another...The Vegie Patch erupts and bangs the crap out of the Target ad.

Until next time…

Your loyal companions,

The Terrace